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Do you know what's the worst thing about fracturing your teeth?

Apparently, fractured teeth are fractured for life. My dentist told me that for the rest of my life, if I bite and pull too hard on something, I run the risk of re-fracturing my tooth.

Do you know how often you use your two front teeth for things? I just realized I'm basically a badger or a doggie. I use my two front teeth for everything from ripping open a bag, ripping a tag from a shirt, biting into Twizzlers, everything. And it's a testament to how much of a fat ass I am that all I care about is food.

This means I can never bite into a juicy burger again! I can never chow down like the best of them. No more ripping apart meat with my bare teeth. No more carnivore "I AM MAN" style of eating. *sob* This means I now have to be lady like and cut my food with a knife and fork and daintily place it into my mouth. I can no longer shovel food into my open mouth like a horse or cow.

I'm sure my mother is proud. Those years at etiquette school were wasted. Well, here Ma, now you've got yourself a lil' lady for a daughter.